Well, I had another lesson on the weekend and it went something like this…
Planning my long run with speedy friends who were planning a shorter run where I would tack on some k’s later in the run:
It’s funny how old beliefs die-hard and those negative feelings can so easily creep back in. They’re like sneaky little gremlins, seeming all harmless and cute until bammm it’s all death and destruction before you know it. I have a bit of a thing when it comes to my running speed, and while I have achieved a lot, I still worry from time to time – mainly I worry that I’m too slow, and that it’ll annoy people… Annddd…if I really let that sneaky gremlin get away on me I’ll start sometimes questioning ‘who do I think I am running 100-mile races when I sometimes struggle to run up a 10km climb!!’ …See I told you they were set on death and destruction.
But I have a superpower too, and I got reminded of that on the weekend. It’s my ability to just keep ticking along (and eating…but shhhh, don’t tell everyone it’s all about the food), and I have endurance. After a fair bit of time out on my long slow runs, ticking off mile after mile after mile…still going 99 miles later…I know that I can just keep going. So that is just what I did.
Also, turns out that all the speed work I have been doing has paid off and I ended up with a fair few PB’s on my long run – some quite significant time differences…when I wasn’t even trying!
So, have I Iearnt anything from ‘that run like Tanya girl’? YES! I have learnt that I’m stronger than I know, faster than I know and wayyyyy more capable than I ever dreamed possible. But I’ve also learnt that I worry about my performance and what people think of me just as much as the next person, and that’s ok too. As long as I don’t let the gremlins take over, and keep getting out there and doing what I love, maybe some time, I’ll turn around one day and realise that I worry less!
In the meantime, thanks to my friends for reminding me what I’ve achieved and calling me a super dickhead loser! Sometimes that is just what you need (when it’s said with love! Love you Roggy).
