I feel like I’m just teetering on the edge. 

I’m feeling stronger and faster than I have in a really long time.  Week on week my paces improve, my weights increase, I am getting better, chasing my goals – moving ever closer. But yet, I am tired and I’m dealing with that mental game. Obsessing over sleep, living life to a schedule of eat lots of food, run, strength train, stretch, sleep, repeat.  Fitting in climbing where I can, looking at mountains and not wanting to climb them because the k’s I’m putting on my legs on the flat and undulating trails way down below the mountain summits feel like more than enough.

Knowing and feeling all this I know I’m in exactly the right place.  If this was easy everyone would be doing it, and just because it is hard doesn’t make it bad. 

This edge on which I balance is the place where dreams are made. 

Beast mode, badass, athlete are words and phrases that are helping me.

I’ve talked many times about making sure we keep turning up and not quitting.  To do that our goals must be in line with our values, and we must have the necessary tools of resilience to keep going in the face of tough times.

My resilience is being tested and built through this training.  Resilience that I will need come race day, 50/200/300km’s in when things are uncomfortable and challenging and they don’t feel good.

I’m not perfect at this stuff and I’m still learning, but here are some of the things I’m doing to help manage the load and feel like a Badass!

• Reframe – acknowledge something difficult (I’m tired) and then see if I can reframe it to something empowering (my body is growing and adapting)

• See difficulties as opportunities to grow and learn – things will go wrong (upset stomach on a key long run day), figure out ways to solve the problem and learn from it (do reps on a trail with multi toilet stops and see the run as an opportunity to deal with the difficulties that could arise on race day)

• Only worry about things you can control – and then dial them in

• Choose commitment – quitting is not an option, when you take it off the table you find a way to get through

• Tune into your thoughts – what are you telling yourself, what is that ego up to?  When you can tune in you can make a conscious effort to change them