On December 12-13 2020 I will take on the challenge to summit Roys Peak as many times as possible in 24hrs.

15.5Km and 1250m Vert for each summit.

A Tribute to: What is possible?

Its been a tumultuous few years as I’ve worked through my ‘recovery’ from domestic abuse. Like going head to head with a WWE wrestler, every time I got back up from some crazy-ass move I didn’t see coming, that spandex-wearing, larger than life character laid it on, again and again. Trauma aka Brutal Brutus, a shadowy figure inside the ring, signature move – Smackdown! would get me when I least expected it.

I was down on the mat more times than I can remember, the ref counting down, and from somewhere deep inside my weary body, I managed to drag myself up to go another round.  Never really stopping to think how I could stop the attacks, or having the ability to really think beyond just getting up.

So here’s my an acrobatic leap from the top rope, onto the back of Brutus.  He might try and swing me around and throw me off but I’m not relenting.  I’ve got some moves left and I’m out to show that after adversity can come possibility.

I joke, but recovery really has been intensely hard.  In many ways, while this year had been one of the most challenging for me personally, it will be a year that was a beacon of possibility.
After more years of my life in an abusive relationship than out of one, this year finally saw the end of the abuse that relentlessly left me hearing the ref count down from five.  Maybe it was COVID, maybe after 6 years of separation, enough time has passed that he has finally let go.  Whatever may be, from relentless and regular abuse to peace has been a major adjustment.

You would think that to finally, really, truly be free would be smooth sailing. Truth is, it felt like I was in some crazy whirlpool, circling ever faster, in a tightening downward spiral, with the threat of being completely overwhelmed ever looming.  It was terrifying, I felt like I was going crazy, this fear and overwhelm eventually culminating in a panic attack which pushed me to seek help. 

I felt close to drowning, and I needed a lifeline.  My lifeline, one of the most beautiful humans I know, who has worked with me, and will continue to work with me to heal the trauma.  Trauma which quite literally, changes the way my brain processes things and understands situations.  I felt like I was going crazy, because my brain was desperately trying to protect me, but there was nothing to fear anymore.

What has come out of this recovery for me has been taking a new approach to life. Asking questions, like, What else is possible?, How can this be easier?  …and so many more.  With this work and through asking these questions, and using some other techniques when I trigger, I finally feel like I am cutting the psychological ties to the past.

I have run happy, limitless and free for many years.  I have raised awareness around domestic violence – while I was still living it, now I am free and I want to share the abundant potential that I feel while sharing my recovery story.

Peak of Possibility is a run to celebrate abundant possibility.  To highlight and talk about how we recover from trauma, and raise money for SHINE, because while 2020 has been a transformative year in my domestic abuse story, being locked down with their abusers this year has been a living hell for many.

I’m putting on my spandex, you can call me TNT (a name I liked to call myself as a child – tiny but mighty!), signature move, The Transformer. Brutus no doubt has a few more rounds to go, but little does he know I’ve been leveling up…in fact, I might not even step into the ring next time…I might just take my spandex and sit at the side and ask if he wants to talk about it?!

Peak of Possibility:

Roy’s Peak, Wanaka. 12-13 December 2020

Donations to: SHINE